By Judy Carmack Bross
Mary Ellen Christy on her December 2023 birthday
(Editor’s Note: We had decided not to run “Those We Will Miss” a column for the last Sunday in 2024 as we have done for the last few years. This year just too many wonderful people who have touched our pages and more importantly the Chicago community have departed and to not include someone would be a great sadness. But when we lost Mary Ellen Christy, our beloved columnist and most importantly a legendary educator who has shaped the lives of so many as founding Headmistress of St. Chrysostom’s Day School and recently as children’s book author, we knew that by writing about Mary Ellen we could pay tribute to all we have loved and lost in 2024. We are missing so many remarkable Chicagoans as we write.)
By Mary Ellen Christy, with illustrations by Vicky Tesmer. “Dedicated to all children in the world, old and young, who still believe in miracles. Especially to Ellen, Jane, Charlie and Augie, and Scout.”
“Remember, things that we truly love are never lost.” –Mary Ellen Christy, from her first children’s book.
This was the way we began the October 25th article on “Vinnie’s Summer Adventure” which is rapidly becoming a bestseller in Chicago. This picaresque story of a toy cat, lost by her grandson and then found again after many adventures, appeals to both children and adults. Because Mary Ellen was filled with love and curiosity, she was hard at work on the sequel when, she died asking her four grandchildren for their tips for the sailing plot. Son Brooks Christy and daughters Lindsay Amborski and Kate Christy were surely joining in as well on whatever the occasion—a family defined by Mary Ellen’s joy and love.
For several years Mary Ellen wrote sage parenting columns for Classic Chicago, and she had planned to combine all into a book which, like Vinnie’s tale. would have been a best seller. Thinking of how to eulogize Mary Ellen is almost beyond me. She was my best friend for over 50 years. And besides, her words are what matter, her advice to be taken by parents in the years ahead.
We introduced her as a columnist in this way:
If life is all about crossing bridges, students at Chicago’s St. Chrysostom’s Day School were guided across that first bridge from home to the world around them by one of the country’s finest and most experienced educators, Day School Headmistress Mary Ellen Christy. For over forty years, she maintained that: “children skip down the street to our school because they are happy to be coming here.”
A former high school French teacher, she was asked by St. Chrysostom’s Church to found a school on its premises in 1973. The Day School is a key part of the church’s life and Chapel services are held at the school once a week. It is her respect for the preschool years and her sense of the importance of reaching children with thoughtful education at such an early age that set her apart in the most wonderful way. She has serve on several national boards for organizations focused on early childhood education.
Mary Ellen as photographed by Jessica Tampas
Mary Ellen spoke about this magic time in a child’s life:
“The preschool years should create an opportunity to explore the child’s own curiosity and to develop a strong sense of self. It is all about getting ready. The children really want to fix things; they are so natural and whole at this age. Someone said that small children are human beings as God wants everyone to be.”
Reading to children first at the Day School and then to her grandchildren was an activity she particularly liked:
“Children are natural scientists. We recently read that whales are 150 feet long so they ran string through the school to see just how long they are. They were also thrilled to hear that a whale’s heart is the size of a small car.”
About her job she said:
“We have the responsibility to help parents make the correct choices, which is sometimes hard because we are dealing with someone so little and vulnerable, and so loved.”
During COVID, her columns offered effective advice for weary parents:
Try to supplement the curriculum even with the simplest kids of activities. Cooking experiences are great science at any age. For example, you might tell a first grader: “We are going to make a sandwich. What is the procedure? Bread. Would you get bread out? What else do we need? Even in this very elementary way they go through the process and can actually document what they have done and the results, much as you would in a simple science experiment. For reading, after you have worked on skills with an emerging reader you might for example ask them to read to a younger sibling, even a two-year-old. It makes them feel empowered: they can make a mistake and not feel bad about it.”
In a Valentine’s Day column she wrote:
“I believe that this is one of the reasons why young children and animals have such a natural affinity for one another. Their affection is uncomplicated and straightforward and neither would ever lie about Love. Perhaps there are family pets or neighborhood pets with whom your children have a special relationship. One idea to express kindness could be to prepare a special Valentine to treat such as a handful of dog biscuits tied up with ribbon or perhaps a catnip mouse presented in a Valentine bag, decorated with angels and slim gold cord handles. Accompanied by a note and hung on the doorknob of neighbor’s houses, they will make a charming surprise gift. You might consider the same concept for friends, teachers, babysitters, and neighbors.”
And in her 2021 column on New Year’s resolutions she left us wonderful advice for us in 2025:
“Children are by nature forward-looking and positive creatures. They are perfect candidates for making resolutions. Why not hold a family meeting and have everyone share their ideas for both personal and family resolutions? There are many things that can be incorporated into a family routine to provide exercise for all ages. Perhaps you may want to take a brisk family walk after dinner each night, if the children are old enough this could become a jog.”
Or the role of a grandparent:
“Having someone in children’s lives that they think hung the moon is important for development. That’s one thing that grandparents do for grandchildren. And of course when you get really tired you can return them to their parents.”
Mary Ellen Christy’s much loved grandchildren
She also agreed with our theory that grandparents love to break a few rules!
“Parents feel so responsible, particularly in contemporary culture where everything is so achievement oriented. One thing I love to do with my grandchildren is to take all the cushions off all my furniture and my blankets everywhere to make a tent with them. Then they crawl from room to room. It is fun sometimes to stay up late and watch cartoons, and maybe eat a little popcorn in bed. When one of my grandchildren was told that it was bedtime, mom said I was going to bed, too. My grandchild said: ‘oh, no she’s not’. There is something fun and very conspiratorial being busted together.
“Grandchildren often want to know what you were like as a child. One asked me recently if, when I was little, was I naughty? I said definitely yes, and I probably turned out ok.”
More than ok.
For the many organizations that she touched including the Women of St. Chrysostom’s where she is the current President and so many other church committees, St. Leonard’s Ministries where she is an active volunteer, the Guild of the Chicago History Museum, and the Delavan Yacht Club and others she defined what you might accomplish when gifted with a huge heart and profuse curiosity, not to mention joyful wit.
A make shift tribute grew this week by the tree planted in her honor outside St. Chrysostom’s Day School.
